Proper Messaging Etiquette - Help a Hapless Gen-Xer!

[Cat]

OK guys, I read an article today about how young people are annoyed by the way we old timers communicate. While I'm not a big fan of so-called generational warfare, this struck a chord because I still struggle finding the best way to deal with customers via the chat/message system.

https://nypost.com/2024/10/04/lifestyle/gen-z-confused-why-older-generations-use-boomer-ellipses/

The gist of the article is that young folks hate it when people use an ellipses to separate thoughts, and that they would rather people send separate messages for each part of the sentence.

So here's the thing, ellipses or not, I always try to craft one single message with sentences separated by spaces (control-enter so it doesn't send) so that the customer just gets one response. I have steadfastly avoided messages like the second (blue) example because it seems incredibly rude to me - like spamming or something - because they're going to get a notification for each and every line of the message.

So what say ye, hive mind? Are my attempts at not annoying my customers backfiring? I'd LOVE to know your approach here.

[KeegansCreation]

I put it all in one message. But then again I'm also GenX. I think using separate texts as line breaks works in phone texts but wouldn't be good in the Zazzle chat system. It would be like breaking a single email up into a bunch of emails.

I don't use ellipses in customer chat to conserve space but I'm sure I've done it a lot in forum posts... 😉

[Cat]

I am guilty as charged on the ellipses thing - or dashes (see what I did there?) To me it's a more casual way of writing than using complete sentences, but I guess the young folks threw those overboard long ago...  😉😉

Seriously though, do you happen to know how the message system works if you're accessing it on a phone? Like does it send you a push notification for every message like it does when you get a text? I would find that INCREDIBLY annoying!

[Wesha]

I don't know why ....I hardly get any message from customers !

[Jadendreamer13]

I hardly get any messages from customers, too. I assume it’s probably because I don’t create invitations of any kind. (Just guessing).

[PenguinPower]

Imma have to be a typical Xer here… whatever 🙄. But seriously, a bunch of different messages would be far more annoying to me. You know how all caps is seen as shouting? Well, using a new message as a carriage return seems like being bombarded to me. Young people may feel free to disagree, but IMHO they aren’t the arbiters of all that is proper in the world. I’m not going to learn all of their slang to talk to them (it would probably horrify them anyway) and I don’t intend to emulate their texting style either, so they can just suck it up buttercup. 

[Cat]

Bwahahahaha! That's the most GenX response ever! 😆

[CarlaRolfe]

I'm a last gen boomer and I heartily approve this message.

Signed... Not a Buttercup. 😁

[Jadendreamer13]

You may not be a GenXer if you use the term, “imma.” LOL!

[CrazyMermaid]

I take my cue from the customer. If they start off Dear Nelda, and sign it Sincerely Mrs. Customer. I do the same. If they are breezy and casual with no punctuation, I do that. Meet them where they are. 

[Cat]

That's an excellent approach! 

[Mariholly]

I didn't know that using .... was a sign of aging... I'm guilty!!! I'm old and.....? (Oops, I can't stop using them, it's true, I use .... a lot)

Anyway, jokes aside, curiously, this topic has come up this week in my environment and yes, there are many signs of age that I wasn't aware of. In any case, I think that way of writing can work if you're in the middle of a conversation, but I find it uncomfortable in a chat. I don't remember anyone writing to me like that here.

In my case, I also have to use a translator or ChatGPT, as I don't speak English well enough, so it usually corrects the style of the text as well. I believe it's important to always be proper and that's it—it's a client, not your friend, so you should be pleasant and cordial, and the pace of the conversation itself will determine the tone of communication.

I always start by thanking them for their interest and usually end by mentioning that since I'm in Europe, we might not be in the same time zone and replies could be delayed.... It was funny once with an Australian client, but we were able to resolve everything without a problem.

[Jadendreamer13]

OMG, you’re a user! LOL

[LoraSeverson]

Fun Fact: When we GenXers are using ellipsis, there should be a space after the word before and after the dots.

Example: Blah blah blah ... blah blah blah. 😀

I use them. I'd rather send one message than having all the notifications.

[CrazyMermaid]

This whole conversation is just so "ok boomer." Customers really just want an answer when they contact you. I have never had anyone complain about a prompt answer. Usually i get a Thanks Nelda!!! 

[Barbara]

I'm a year too old to be even a Boomer, which means I'm hardcore about grammar and punctuation. Why? It's because English was a major course all the way through primary and secondary school. The training is a solid block in me, and I'm not about to curtsy to the youth. Ellipses are where they indicate a pause greater than that indicated by a comma, and an extra space before a new paragraph, but only on the internet. Open any book, old or new, and you'll find few ellipses and an extra space only to indicate a new thought or subject.

Colorwash's Home
From the Silent Generation

[DM]

When you are responding to a friend, do whatever you want. When you are responding to a customer, be professional. If the customer uses a single letter to represent a word or has no idea how apostrophes work, that has no bearing on your response. You are representing your brand and your business. If it takes a paragraph to answer their question, then write a paragraph. Use proper spelling and grammar and present yourself in a professional manner.

Oh, and never use an ellipsis. I don't care how old you are.

[ColsCreations]

For me (GenX), I use ellipses frequently for the following two reasons:
1) If I'm quoting something and delete something extraneous from middle of the quote, I use ... to signify that I removed some of the original text
2) I use them instead of "etc" or "yada yada yada" (which in themselves have different meanings to me).

I've never used them to "separate thoughts" - that's what periods and/or line breaks are for.
I'm also old enough that I lived through the coming-of-age of cell phones where not only did you pay per message, you had to type ONE character out by repeatedly cycling through the same key until the letter you wanted to use came up. It was a grueling PITA, people were not typing out long messages that required a symbol to say I'm not done yet, more is coming. 😵 So all the articles that claim older generations use ellipses because of those old text messaging days, that's pure bunk to me, they're just making stuff up.

I don't doubt that maybe some of the younger generations see the ... as signifying something more is coming so they are suspenseful, but I seriously doubt it's any kind of common for the older generations to be randomly appending ... to the end of their messages and certainly not because it saved space writing on a post card or because of old text-messaging habits.

[Barbara]

The naming of generations always leaves me somewhat confused, mostly because it lacks definition other than age. The named eras seem just a touch more defining, showing the possible influences on a person, such as the Flapper Era or the Hippie Generation. There's also the education we had, but mostly, it's our parents and our youngest years that remain with us. We're all a wonderful stew of experiences, but I do wish the internet and smart phones weren't so detrimental to grammar, punctuation, and syntax.

Colorwash's Home

[chefcateringbiz]

I could talk about grammar and punctuation all day long, but what really matters are your words. Are you answering the customer's questions? If you are, then don't worry about the rest; they're not interested in your level of English ed, they're interested in your design and the product they want it on. Don't forget your pleases and thank-yous.

[Connie]

I rarely if ever use ellipses in any conversations, personal or professional. I was taught how to use them when writing fan-fiction, but before I got into the whole fan-fiction scene I didn't even know they were a thing!

But I am guilty of the second example, because I didn't know that Ctrl-enter kept it from sending when I want to go to the next line. So they get a bunch of short messages!

[Barbara]

@Connie  You're excused! Just make sure you use Shift+Enter. 🙂

Colorwash's Home

[Cat]

You're right! It's shift-enter not control-enter. It's so funny. I can do that stuff in my sleep without thinking about it, but as soon as I try to remember which one it is my brain draws a blank! I guess it's muscle memory or something. Anyhow, thanks for correcting me! 😃